True Colours

One thing is for certain; divorce absolutely reveals many things that may have seemed impossible to entertain during the days of your happy marriage.  Once you cross the great divide and into the realm of separation, you may feel the cold chill of indifference, a lack of empathy, compassion and time. Those you once counted as friends, work colleagues, those you share your children’s school duties with, your gym and coffee catch-ups; all these contacts may change their reactions towards you and your situation. The odd thing is, some people feel and act like separation and divorce are infectious and they may steer clear of you. You may initially enjoy the comfort of kind words and consolations but over time you may notice this change. You may experience a decline in interest and the appearance of the stoic facade.

Many of your friends may feel like they are being forced to change sides and depending on how your friendship was formed; either they were your ex partner’s friends or your friends, a culling will occur. You may find yourself no longer included into certain social activities either because you were not the original friend of the group, or because no-one wants to have a perceived sadness spoil their event or because they are concerned a newly single woman is a threat. It’s odd that men don’t think like this but women certainly do.

Your separation will see your friends divide into opposing camps and their true colours will be revealed. It will shock you to the core just how shallow some people may become and you will be greatly saddened by these behaviours. You will feel betrayed, lonely, angry; all this on top of the potential rage you may feel towards your ex partner and the anxiety you hold for your children.

When people are showing their true colours, this is the time when you need to strengthen your resolve and save your energy for the battles that need to be fought. Now, not all separations will be fraught with hardship and anger but if you find yourself in one that is, try to concentrate on the important things. These important things are to create a safe and happy environment for your children and plan for the future of you restructured family. Those friends and associates that are truly worthy of your friendship will reveal themselves. They will always be ready to listen to you, to your decisions and will have understanding for you in their hearts. It is only through adversity that you will find out who your true friends are and what you are capable of. See these situations as opportunities for learning, of strengthening relationships and your spirit.

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